I am finding it hard to have time to post both on facebook and here. By the time I tell my latest Alkai story there I have been on the computer too long and need to get back to my day. Besides I don't want to type it out twice, and I tell a more condensed version on there for it to just be it...
I'll get it figured out.
This week has been a challenge! I feel myself much more grounded and centered and at peace, and what does God send? CHAOS! Why? I don't get it. I could use some validation, not "let me prove you have TONS more work to do. See, I can piss you off!": I am not liking it, not one bit.
Yesterday Alkai Kenai and I were trying to get to our WIC appointment. I was running late because I believe there is no other option anymore. I will be late no matter what I do. Anyways, I think Alannis Morisett should have talked to a mom before she wrote that little song of hers. There is some good material here, like why is it the time for all children to poop RIGHT before you are trying to get out the door 15 minutes later than you had hoped to be? Or spill something all over their clothes, or fall down, or for them to take off their shoes and coat (assuming you have found their shoes and coat...) or maybe they decide to take off all their clothes...I think most of us have been there. Anyways, I FINALLY get out the door, and Alkai will not come to the car to get in his seat because "the ants are hungry" so he takes half his bagel and drops it onto the ground to feed the starving ants in our front yard. Great, that is what I needed, encouragement for all our ant populations of the neighborhood to take up shop in my front yard. "Ok Alkai I just want you to take a look at how small the ants are, next time you could simply give them a crumb and they will be thrilled. Now let's please get into the car" Off we go to our appointment, and I dream of being able to go to Starbucks to spend way too much on a coffee, but, alas, I can not. Not only because I have NO time (ever) but I do not have too much money for anything at the moment. I don't even have a little bit of money for that matter. As we are driving I am thinking in my head "hello nice lady at the WIC office, I know we are late for the 100th time, but could you please not make us reschedule...I promise I will start getting ready 3 hours before the next appointment." We get to our appointment, and get out of the car, I manage to NOT lose my keys in the 5 minutes it takes to get us all out (may not sound like an accomplishment, but in actuality it is) Alkai actually co-operates and we get in with out being the 15 minutes late that all places do not approve of. YAY :) Biggest challenge of being here is it is a big open room for all appointments for the public health department, so Alkai just runs around crazy pulling pamphlets and brochures off the tables and walls. Luckily they got us in fast, so that was really nice. And I had my handy dandy sit n stand stroller that just makes life SO much easier! The infant car seat fits on it, and I can threaten Alkai if he doesn't listen he will have to get on. Some of the people I have seen for my WIC appointments are really really nice, and some of them don't seem to listen or maybe they just really don't get my humor, which I have been told is understandable. It is frustrating for me because I get a little defensive about my children and our situations. I work VERY hard to figure stuff out for them, and I constantly try to make the best decisions I can, sometimes I fail miserably, but the last thing i need is for someone else to make me second guess myself when I know my body, my family history and my children. I will never understand why this society does not trust a mother's instincts! Honestly, if something feels wrong LISTEN TO THAT! It is built into us and we ignore it, what a silly decision. Anyways, today we are talking about how things are going, and it comes up that Kenai is not breast feeding, but not getting any formula at all. I am having to pump all day around the clock and she wants to know how often. I say between 4-6 hours, every so often there is a 7 hour stretch but it is very painful and I don't like doing it. And she says, oh if he is going 6 hours between feedings, like at night or something that I should be pumping in between that time, like maybe at the 3 hour mark. So I gently try and let her know that I am basically doing the best I can while trying to maintain some sanity. Then she realizes, oh of course. "It is easy for me to sit here and tell you to pump every 3-4 hours, but I am not the one with 2 children at home!" thank you for getting it. She then tells me about some wonderful resources like a mom's group for women who have struggled with breast feeding for various reasons, and we talk a little more. As we are leaving her office she tells me she has to write everything down about what she is going to give me handouts for or she will forget as soon as she leaves her office, and I jokingly say "all I have to do is change the subject lately, and I forget what was said" so then she stops in her tracks and starts to explain to me all the stuff we just talked about. No I was, well; I was exaggerating....oh never mind. We get done, we get our handouts, our checks and away we go. One of Alkai's favorite things about going to the WIC appointments are these little statue turtles hatching outside of the building. It is the easiest way to get him to leave there. He never seems to like a change no matter what it is. We get outside and Alkai immediately goes and sits on the turtles, he has never done that "look at me mommy!" Uh, ok Alkai. Into the car, and away we go to the DSHS office. Aye yeye yeye too much. Not much happened thankfully while we were there, except there was this poor man crying in his chair. I understand, I feel ashamed too. But Alkai wanted to help and he kept trying to talk to him, and give him drawings etc. He is so social, I love that about him, but I need to figure out a way for him to understand personal space and timing! Oh it is finally time to go home, I can not wait! We get home and Alkai goes right over to the bagel he left which is now so covered in ants it looks black, and what do you think he does? Yes, he PICKS IT UP! AHHHHH! "mama look, I have ants on me" "oh my goodness Alkai put that down!" "Oh! ok mommy. He sets the bagel down and begins to wipe off the ants onto his pants. Oh good grief, I need a nap. So I put him down for a rest after we get all changed and eat. After his "rest time" which I thought he fell asleep for because he was being very quiet, but I was wrong.....he had pulled out a seam from his over sized pillow and pulled almost all the stuffing out of it and it was all over his room. I go in there, and he says "Look mama, I made a mess!" with so much enthusiasm you would think he just got a wonderful new toy. "yes you did"
My days are so silly lately I swear! At least I can laugh at them....most of the time.
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