more on the movie trip

Oops I forgot I wanted to also mention how, here I am 8 weeks post partum, taking my little (but not littlest) boy who is growing up too fast to his first movie and it's about how this kid is all grown up and saying good bye as he's off to college! Oh my goodness I was fighting back tears almost the whole darn movie and I just felt like "how ridiculous am I? Get a grip woman! It's a cartoon for pete's sake." Oh I was embarassed. I don't like being so emotional, but for my kids I just can't help it. I love everything about being a mom, and I know some day they are going to be grown, and I just can't help but feel so much about the whole process of life. It is a hard balance to not lose yourself in this job. I was thinking the other day about how I honestly don't know who I am without my boys. I know that is sad, so I am working on coming up with more of an identity for just me. I have been taking more time for me, and it feels really good. I have to make this a priority because I can't be a good mom if I have no self. There are more reasons, but this is an important one. I don't want to have a total melt down when the kids are all grown up. It isn't their job to give my life purpose, and it certainly is not fair for me to lean on them in that way. They should feel great about their accomplishments in life, not worrying about how I am doing. Wow I sort of went off there, maybe I needed a little more convincing on the subject? Probably.